Category Archives: Spirituality

Last week, I started reading “Living the Spiritual Principles of Health and Well-Being” by Drs. John-Roger and Paul Kaye soon to be released with book signings in Europe.

The book offers practical wisdom presented in several sections. One section that particularly fascinated me is “Causes and Cures of Disease.” Many illnesses have an underlying emotional disturbance causing them, and in my own experience, that has certainly been the case. I hasten to add that blaming an emotional response for an illness does not further health and well-being. Quite the reverse.

In the book, one of the causes attributed to disease is fear. Its cure is empathy. What if there were no real source of fear, although the feeling of fear is real enough? Your mind and emotions create the feeling of fear through imagining, for example, the worst possible outcome. You may be drawn to news items which focus on negative scenarios. News agencies make their profit through our attraction to drama and what a friend calls “awful-ization.” It is your thoughts about a situation that produce feelings of fear.

One of my most memorable experiences of fear was the first time I was in an earthquake, in Carpenteria, California. I was on my own in a fairly large house which we had rented for a few months. When the earthquake was happening and the house was rolling around (well constructed for earthquake conditions) I enjoyed the movement. I was in bed around 4:30 a.m. When the movement stopped and my mind started imagining what might have happened if … the walls had come down, glass had fallen all over me, I ripped in to my feet with broken glass and so forth, I felt really scared. I was more shaken by my thoughts about it than by the event itself.

The Law of Empathy is the fifth spiritual law. The first is Acceptance, followed by Cooperation, then Understanding and Enthusiasm. Spiritual laws, unlike the laws of the land, are those which guide and direct our loving. Spiritually, we are not punished for our sins or shortcomings. We are punished by them. That is to say, it is when we go off track, or are separated, from our loving nature that we tend to experience imbalance and dis-ease.

More often than not, we simply do not know what good might be right around the corner of any crisis. There are many who are viewing the current global disturbances as creative opportunities to effect solutions to the issues we are facing. This could well turn out to be the most creative and productive era of all human existence. No one person, or even inspired leader, is in direct control of what the future holds. Lack of control for many is scary.

I have noticed those who make gloomy pronouncements about the future want to seem right about their predictions, and in control somehow. It is tempting to buy into the awful-ization. Personal concerns such as: What if I fail? What if I lose all my friends? What if I never find another job? What if my husband/wife rejects me? Those feelings of fear can hold you back from engaging in life, and deriving fulfillment from getting on with what is right in front of you.

So where does empathy come in? Empathy is a form of understanding. Fear cannot abide in an environment where there is understanding. Understanding is being aware of the thoughts that have produced the feelings, and literally standing under or in support of the greater, loving spirit that is present. Empathy and compassion offer you the opportunity to be with those feelings as they are, without any criticism, shame or blame.

Empathy respects your inner strength or innate essence, to know and do what is true for you. In her recent article, Judith Johnson writes about The Power of Bearing Witness. It speaks to empathy in action.

The action may be as simple as holding a hand, listening, smiling, being at one with what is taking place without having to fix it. It takes a certain strength and love to do so. You are not in control. You are cooperating with the love present, in yourself and the other person. This love heals on many levels. You may look beyond what you see on the face of things to recognize something deeper going on, more real, more connected, more intimate, more safe. This vibrant safety I view as the human spirit.

In stressful times, you can extend empathy towards yourself with care, understanding and getting to know how your thoughts are disturbing you. Instead of being critical and condemning towards yourself with blame and judgments about how you think you should be, do or feel differently, you can accept yourself as you are, in that moment. The feelings will change.

Where fear isolates, empathy connects. When you have understanding, you can then use the energy of fear to get active, to do what needs to be completed, to see friends, write a letter, make a phone call, do something for the joy of it.

Instead of fear holding you back, you may find that fear translates into awe and inspiration. The essence of fear is love, awaiting awakening.

?We are what we repeatedly do, excellence then is not an act, but a habit.
Aristotle

Do you know someone who is skilled at offering empathy? How do you think empathy can assist the healing process? What are the most effective ways you know to express or receive empathy?
 
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Read more: Spiritual Awareness, Understanding, Healing, Spiritual Laws, Human Spirit, Love, Health, Law of Empathy, Spirituality, Living News

Once upon a time a man leaned against a wall and fell right through it.

Given the tendency for walls to be made of solid matter, and given a similar tendency for a human being’s composition to be of a comparably solid quality, it is highly unlikely that any real-life stories have ever included a person falling through a wall. In 1687, Sir Isaac Newton published his three laws of motion and the third of these laws stated how for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. When the man leaned against the wall in the above sentence, the wall exerted an equal and opposite force keeping both it and the man in place. This concept forms much of our understanding of the physical relationship between objects.
What is not as understood by our culture, however, is that a similar relationship of equal forces can be assigned to our positive and negative thoughts.

What, exactly, does a statement like that mean? What do positive or negative thoughts have to do with leaning against a wall? Over the course of many thousands of years, generations of yoga practitioners have developed a science revolving around how our thoughts are the starting point for every aspect of our lives. Our thoughts create energy, much like a flame might create energy. If we have positive thoughts, we create positive energy. If we have negative thoughts, we create negative energy. However, also like the energy in a flame that heats or burns whatever it comes into contact with, the energy created by our thoughts will create a distinct but complimentary reaction in the world within or around us. In other words, for every thought we offer to the world, there is an equal amount of energy created by the world in response. Sometimes this energy manifests in ourselves, and sometimes it manifests among others. Regardless of where and how it presents itself, it plays a significant role in all of our lives.

The Power of the Mind

The mind is the engine that coordinates the eleven systems of the body into one organism that sustains and propagates life. Each system, including the cardiovascular, respiratory, and digestive systems, depends on the next to perform its job with balance and harmony. Without this balance, the whole body suffers in its attempt to compensate for a failing system. For the body to be healthy, the mind needs to be balanced and peaceful at all times. When looked at another way, the body cannot function on its own without the mind but the mind can keep functioning even if one loses the use of the body–such as when a person becomes paralyzed.
How might a person’s thoughts impact one of the body’s systems? Many of us are familiar with how constant worry and fretting over situations out of our control can lead to peptic ulcers of the gastrointestinal tract. We might be stressed out because of a lack of money, a job that we hate, or problems with our spouse or family members and experience this stress over a lengthy period of time. Eventually, we wind up suffering from an ulceration of the small intestine or some other part of the gastrointestinal tract. A peptic ulcer is a very real, very physical malady that is in part a product of these stress-based, negative thoughts. Ultimately, the negative thoughts we are having about our job or family are creating negative energy in the system, which in turn leads to toxic buildup. This toxicity not only affects our own physiology and well-being, but it affects others as well.

Our Connection to Others through Thought

There is a common misconception throughout the world that we are only connected to each other by physical forces. It suggests that our connection to another person begins and ends with physical touch, and our awareness of another person is limited to whether or not we can see and hear them. According to yogic tradition, however, we are not just connected to others through touch, sight, and sound, but by energy. If we were to go on a date with someone, we could sit across from them at the table, we could have a conversation with them, and we could tell them that we “had a really great time” at the end of the night. However, any person that has been on a date before can tell you whether or not they experienced comfort with the other person, and whether or not they felt what is known in the dating world as chemistry. This desired but often elusive force of chemistry isn’t based on whether or not one of the people felt physically touched, heard, or seen by the other person, but whether or not they felt a positive and comfortable exchange of energy.

Yoga teaches us that every person’s thoughts and actions, no matter how large or small, influence and affect every other person and living thing–including the earth itself–through this exchange of energy. Our thoughts lead to actions, and our actions offer a specific type of energy into the world. If we have hateful thoughts about others and abuse the planet, then we’ll continue to be plagued by a comparable amount of negative energy born from around the world. Even if we are not consciously aware of it, every negative, hateful thought we have against another will come back to us as powerfully as the feeling that we didn’t enjoy an ounce of chemistry with our latest date.

It is therefore up to each of us to take up a lifestyle that bears positive energy and creates community over disparity. If a person practices control over the type of thoughts they create, then they will create greater control over the type of energy they put out into the world. Yogic science dictates that a disease as pervasive and seemingly physical as cancer can be reversed if a person practices control of their mind. Through the regulation of the breath, the control of the senses, and more advanced forms of yogic practices, a person can live in balance and create greater balance in the world around them.

An Exercise in Sense Control

It is commonly stated that we are what we eat. This is an idea that is supported by yogic concepts, as our taste for foods that are rich, indulgent, and unhealthy stems from an ego-based fear that we will lose control if we don’t indulge our senses.
To begin experimenting with creating more positive energy and greater balance, create a list of five different foods you eat each week that you know you are not good for you but you eat all the same. For one week, only eat four of those five foods. For the second week, only eat three of those foods, and so on. After five weeks, you will have gradually eliminated all five foods from your eating routine, and in doing so you’ll have assumed control over your sense of taste. In creating this control, you’ve overcome the fear stemming from your ego. In overcoming this fear, you’ve eliminated negative thoughts from your emotional lexicon and with fewer negative thoughts, you have the opportunity to create more positive energy and make a difference in your life and the lives of others.

It is said that we are what we eat, and while there is certainly validity to this statement, the greater, more relevant notion is that, at the end of the day, we actually are what we think.
And this is true whether we fall through the wall or not.

Yogi Cameron

Read more: Yoga, Food, Mind.Body.Soul, Health, Spirituality, Ayurveda, Life, Living News

By Deepak Chopra and Annie Bond.

Are You Trapped by a Belief System?
Examine your possible motives for wanting to suffer. Do you deny that there’s anything wrong? Do you think it makes you a better person not to show others that you hurt? Do you enjoy the attention you get when you are sick or in distress? Do you feel safe being alone and not having to make tough choices? Belief systems are complex–they hold together the self we want to present to the world.

It is much simpler not to have beliefs, which means being open to life as it comes your way, going with your own inner intelligence instead of with stored judgments.

If you find yourself blocked by your suffering, returning to the same old thoughts again and again, a belief system has trapped you.
–Adapted from The Book of Secrets, by Deepak Chopra(Three Rivers Press, 2004).

Are You Trapped by Advertising?
The harm of many synthetic chemicals on health and the Earth is backed up by science. Yet, a few years ago I read in Scientific American the article “Doubt is Their Product,” about a 3-decade-long disinformation campaign by industry groups to cast doubt and vilify scientific studies when they implicate their products as being harmful to humans, pets, and the environment. What do you believe about the topic? Can you be open to change about your opinion? The process that transforms your home to a sanctuary of health and well-being can begin at any age. The rewards of having a home with clean air are bountiful beyond words.
Adapted from Home Enlightenment, by Annie Bond (Rodale, 2007).

Read more: Beliefs, Ecological, Healthy Living, Green Living, Pollution, Spirituality, Deepak Chopra, Living News

A distinguished group of thought leaders, lead by Deepak Chopra, met at UCLA’s Royce Hall last week to put out the call for higher levels of consciousness. Deepak started by explaining the problems we currently have can be solved by increased levels of consciousness, from the way we deal with the changing environment to our own personal happiness.

Deepak said in a flyer handed out at the event:

“The most important skill that we can develop is to be listening to the collective conversation that is facilitating evolution at the moment, and that has to be a very deep listening — a listening that involves getting all the facts, a listening that involves emotions, a listening that involves incubating at the level of the soul.”

What I hear him saying is, the deeper our consciousness, the more nuanced our understanding of life becomes and the greater our responsibility for our actions becomes. So deepening what we are conscious of is critical to the long-term success of living on this planet.

Complexity is The Challenge

In an interview with “CNBC,” Joshua Cooper Ramo, author of “The Age of the Unthinkable,” explained that the world has reached an existential crisis. He said that the complexities have reached a level that is beyond our ability to solve them. Adding responsibility to “the level of the soul” makes the complexity of leading a business organization even more difficult.

Deep Listening and Business

As a business leader, I am wondering how Deepak Chopra and the Evolutionary Leaders can apply their wisdom to business, which is the most powerful force on the planet today.

As CEO and Founder of Genius Stone, I have found that the first step in solving any business problem is a deep understanding of present reality, which is consistent with Deepak’s advice.

The problem most often is that leaders cannot always tell the difference between their business realities and their thoughts and beliefs about those realities. With a distorted starting point, their solutions will be less effective, so we work hard to develop a deep level of understanding for the facts, and perhaps emotions, but the soul is completely off the table. Most people don’t even know how to define soul.

In the opportunities for action section, the Evolutionary Leaders have defined a simpler role for business:

Working for Integrity in Commerce: Conscious businesses that are aware of the scope, depth and long range impacts of their actions are key to achieving sustainability. Business must become an ethical steward of the Earth’s ecology and consciously establish an economic basis for a future of equitably shared abundance.

This sounds good, but now in addition to the soul, business leaders have to “establish an economic basis for a future of equitably shared abundance.” WOW! Now it is getting real complex. Who has the level of consciousness to manage all these responsibilities? The Evolutionary Leaders are asking a lot.

Collaboration is Key

Many of the Evolutionary Leaders talked about the importance of conscious collaboration. Given the increasing levels of complexity in business and global politics, which often interfere with business, collaboration skills are essential. I work with leaders and their teams to collaborate, however the need for speed in decision making often interferes. The needs and wants of markets often change faster than the pace of decision making, and collaboration often turns into a committee, which are notorious for creating something that is useless.

While the most successful business leaders are focused on creating new realities that attract customers, most see business as a highly competitive environment, which seems the converse of collaboration.

Collaborating With God?

Life can become so complex that some want God to be their guide. The problem here is that many cannot tell the difference between God’s guidance and their egos, and if they could, might find God’s advice in conflict with their board or the stock holders short-term goals. If they answered their board’s complaints by saying, “God told me to do it,” they would certainly lose their job.

I define genius as conscious collaboration with the flow of what Emerson called “the great intelligence.” Is this God? Not in the traditional definition, but if you define God as an intelligence that creates our world moment to moment, then learning to listen to the flow that comes from this intelligence is essential to working with complexity in any aspect of life.

In “The Kaybalion, a study of The Hermetic Philosophy of Ancient Egypt and Greece,” who were at one time very successful societies, Hermes said, “As above, so below; as below, so above.” This suggests that the spiritual rhythms and flows that come to us from the highest levels form patterns that manifest at every level of life. For business the flow of the market place is formed by the needs and wants of people, and when leaders do not listen to this flow, they often make big mistakes.

So perhaps “listening that involves incubating at the level of the soul” might make sense, if the soul is, as I believe, our portal to our divinity. If a divine flow creates all life, then it would make sense. If not, this would be a dangerous approach. In either case, more work needs to be done to apply this deep wisdom to business. As always, I look forward to your insights.

Read more: Deepak Chopra, Green Living, New Economy, Small Business, Global Climate Change, Environment, Evolution, Spirituality, Deepak, Living News

I think we’re living in an era of increasing “social psychosis.” I use that term deliberately to highlight a constellation of growing, shared delusions; a political-social backlash to the highly interconnected and diverse world that now exists. The delusions include political, economic and anti-science-based decisions and policies that appear likely to predominate for some time, as Paul Krugman and others have argued. And, they’re likely to contribute to more social dysfunction and damage to individual lives, including psychological and physical health.

Because this backlash of false beliefs and harmful actions are likely to be with us for some time, it’s important to build some immunity to their destructive impact on your life. In this post I describe a way that helps you do that. It also describes new criteria of a psychologically healthy life within today’s increasingly interdependent and unpredictable world. I call it the “Inside-Out” solution.

By way of context, in a future post I’ll explain why our “social psychosis” is likely to strengthen for some time, but will not last. That’s because evidence from research, survey and demographic studies reveals massive shifts building within our society in this direction: A rising desire to subordinate purely self-interest motives in personal life and social/political policy to actions and policies that serve the larger common good.

This theme reflects a growing recognition that we’re one world; that all of our lives are like organs of the same body. As President Obama recently put it, “…we rise or we fall together as one nation — one people — all of us vested in one another.”

That relates to what I mean by the “Inside-Out” solution. First, let’s look at some illustrations of why people’s conflicts point the way to a new kind of solution; then I’ll explain what that is. Here’s a typical example, a struggling couple: She’s a lawyer with a large firm; he’s headed a major trade association, but was recently let go. They say they’re committed to their marriage and to being good parents. But they also acknowledge that it’s pretty hectic juggling all their responsibilities at work and at home in this shaky economic environment. Especially now, when one of them is searching for a new job. Dealing with the logistics of daily life, to say nothing of the emotional challenges, makes it “…hard just to come up for air,” one of them says.

Then there’s a 43 year-old man who’s been having some career conflicts but is also worried about the “other side” of life: He’s raising two teenage daughters and a younger son by himself — one of the rising numbers of single fathers. He’s constantly worried about things like whether a late meeting might keep him at work. He knows he can’t risk his career in any way, not with these domestic responsibilities. He tries to have some time for himself, but “It’s hard enough just staying in good physical health, let alone being able to have more of a ‘life,’ ” he said.

These people illustrate some typical symptoms of living and working in an increasingly uncertain, unstable economic and social climate. Many feel pummeled and stressed in their work and home lives. They know that stress damages the body, mind and spirit, yet they feel caught in its trap. Ten years ago, a report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, found that 70 percent of all illness, physical and mental, is linked to stress of some kind. And that number has probably increased over the last decade, especially since the post 9-11 world began.

Much stress comes from struggling with the pressures of work and home — trying to “balance” both in an era in which nothing is secure anymore. But the truth is, you can’t balance work life and home life, because both exist on the same side of the scale — your “outer” life.

Your inner vs. outer life
On the other side of the scale is your “inner” life. Instead of thinking about how to balance work life and home life in today’s world, reframe the issue: realize that it’s healthier to bring your outer life and inner life into greater harmony. That is, strengthening your inner life helps insulate you against the political, emotional and financial deterioration that’s likely to be impacting your life for some time.

Let me explain. Your outer life is the realm of the external, material world: Dealing with the logistics and daily stresses of life, the e-mails to respond to, the errands, family obligations, financial issues, building (or holding onto) your career, raising children, and so on. You get the picture.

Your outer life is where you experience pleasure or pain. In contrast, your inner life is where you can create wellbeing and clarity through the ups and downs that will occur in your outer life. It’s the realm of who you are inside — your emotional awareness, your values, secret desires and goals, your capacity for love, empathy, generosity, and your deeper sense of purpose; of what you’re living for, especially when the external world is not so pleasant or predictable.

A developed inner life reveals how well you deal with your emotions, your degree of self-awareness and your level of mental repose. That is, your capacity for calm, focused action and your resiliency in the face of today’s frenetic, uncertain outer life.

Most people today are not in tune very much with their inner lives. You can become so depleted and stretched by dealing with your outer life that there’s little time to tend to your internal world. Then, you mistakenly identify your “self” mostly with who you are in the outer realm. And when there’s little on the inner side of the scale, problems or setbacks in the outer realm weigh you down, at best. You can become emotionally damaged and suffer from anxiety or depression.

When your inner life is out of balance with your outer, you become more vulnerable to a wide range of physical damage, as well. Research shows that heart attacks, stroke, hypertension, diabetes, a weakened immune system, skin disorders, asthma, migraine, musculoskeletal problems — all are linked to stress in your outer life.

Moreover, when your inner life remains underdeveloped, your daily functioning is affected in a range of ways, both subtle and overt. For example, at work or when relating to your spouse or partner — you may experience insecurities, betrayal or fear; and you can’t tell which are justified and which are not.

You may find yourself at the mercy of anger or greed whose source you don’t understand. And you don’t know if they are “normal” or justified motives, given the reality of your situation. You may be plagued with indecisiveness or revert to emotional “default” positions forged during childhood, such as submissiveness, rebellion or self-undermining behavior.

Even when you’re maintaining success in parts of your outer life, neglecting the inner remains hazardous to your psychological and physical health. That’s because you don’t have sufficient capacity to regulate, channel and focus your energies with full awareness and judgment. Personal relationships can suffer, your health may deteriorate and you become vulnerable to looking for new stimulation from the outer-world sources you know best — maybe a new “win,” a new lover, drugs or alcohol.

The extreme examples are people who destroy their outward success with behavior that reflects a complete disengagement from their inner lives: Corporate executives led away in handcuffs for corruption; self-destructive sports stars overcome by the trappings of their outer-life success; political leaders whose flawed personal lives destroy their credibility and careers; clerics who are staunch moralists at the pulpit but sexual predators or adulterers behind closed doors. These are our modern-day counterparts of Shakespearian characters like Macbeth or Coriolanus. Their outer lives are toppled over by unconscious aims, destructive arrogance or personal corruption.

In today’s world, what you choose to go after in your outer life reflects values and behavior that you’ve been socially conditioned into through your family and society. Much of that can be hard to see because you’re so immersed in it. What gets lost along the way is what your inner life could tell you about the consequences and value of what you’re pursuing in your outer life. And knowing that is especially important in today’s world, when political and social upheaval steadily bombards your outer life.

The good news is that strengthening your inner life builds greater health, internal wellbeing and psychological resilience. That is, servicing your inner life increases healthy, positive control — mastery and self-directed action, not suppression or rationalization. A stronger inner life creates a solid moral core. It informs your choices and actions by providing the calm and centeredness that’s essential for knowing what demands or allures of the outer world you want to go after, or let pass; and how to deal with the consequences of either. It helps you navigate through the unpredictable events and uncertainties that continue to lie ahead.

For example, your inner life can clarify which of the personal commitments, career goals and relationships you want or don’t want. Whether this job or career is what you really desire, despite the money it pays or what people tell you that you should want. And, whether you believe that your relationship gives you and your partner the kind of positive, energized connection you want and need.

In short, a strengthened inner life brings your “private self” and your “public self” into greater harmony. That’s the foundation for dealing with the stress-potential of outer world choices, conflicts and uncertainties, today; for knowing how and why you’re living and using your energies out there in the ways that you do. With a strong inner life you feel grounded and anchored. You know who you are and what you’re truly living for. You’re tuned in to yourself with a “heart that listens,” as King Solomon asked for.

?Finding The Gaps?
A financial consultant who consulted me was noticeably underdeveloped in his inner life. One day he came face-to-face with a dilemma that triggered an important awakening. He was debating whether to leave an out-of-town meeting early, which would create some difficulties, in order to be at home for his daughter’s 18th birthday. It was a conflict, because his business had been hard-hit by the recession and he felt pressured to do whatever was necessary for his work.

So I asked him this question, from a different perspective: Which choice would he be more likely to feel positive about at the end of his life? Tears came to his eyes as he said that he knew in his heart that it was being at his daughter’s birthday. He told me that he felt enormously troubled by the fact that he’d been trying to rationalize away what he knew he valued more deeply, rather than figure out how to best manage the risk, career-wise.

At that moment he was able to see the gap between his inner life values and the choice he was about to make based on his outer life conditioning. A good step towards awakening your inner life is to identify the gaps between what you believe in on the inside, and what you tend to do on the outside. Everyone has those gaps. Here’s an exercise that can help you awaken to them:

• First, make a list of what you believe to be your core, internal values or ideals (5- 10 entries). Perhaps it includes raising a strong, creative child; close friendships; expressing a creative talent that’s important to you. It might include your spiritual life; an intimate marriage or partnership; or contributing your talents, energies or success to the society in some way that has impact.
• Next, make a parallel list for each item on your list, describing your daily actions relative to those values: How much time and energy do you spend on them in real time? What are your specific behaviors regarding each? Be detailed in your answers — note the last time you took an action aimed at nurturing that creative child, building your marriage or giving some meaningful help to the less fortunate. Don’t be surprised or ashamed if you find that very few of your daily activities reflect those key values.
• Assign a number from 1 to 5 measuring the gap between each value and your behavior – 1 representing a minimal gap; 5, the maximum.
• Identify the largest gaps. Now think about how your inner values could redirect your outer life choices in those areas. What would you have to do to bring the inner you in synch with the outer you? What can you commit yourself to doing?
• Write it all down and set a reasonable time frame for reducing your gaps.

Developing your inner life is a practice. Think of it like building a muscle or developing skill in a sport or musical instrument. Part 2 of this post describes some practices most anyone can do to build a stronger inner life. They involve your mind, body, spirit and actions in daily life. The more you do, the better, because they reinforce each other. Overall, they help you build greater psychological health and the proactive resilience that’s necessary for successful navigation through today’s changing world.

Douglas LaBier, Ph.D., a business psychologist and psychotherapist, is Director of the Center for Progressive Development, in Washington, DC. He can be reached at dlabier@CenterProgressive.org

Read more: Stress, Politics, Materialism, Values, Resilience, Obama, Spiritual Path, Corporate Greed, The Inner Life, Spirituality, Living News

There’s a grainy photo I have on my desk that I hurriedly took of two monkeys I encountered in India about a decade ago. It is not a beautiful photograph–no risk that it will be published in National Geographic. Nor were these creatures out of the ordinary in their appearance–just your standard, garden variety gray monkey. Yet, I will never forget them and for good reason.

From traveling to India a total of eight times during a seven year period starting in the late 90s, I can safely say that one of the greatest gifts of going there is how it challenges your assumptions right to the core. If you want a carefree, relaxing place, try Hawaii or Tahiti. If you want to go out of your comfort zone and find out some interesting things about yourself, come to India. Nothing seems to go according to plan, and once you accept that and give up that need to control, it can be liberating.

A trip to India gives you a better grasp of the notion of duality. It’s in your face all the time. One moment, you might see the most beautiful sight, and in the next, something ugly or horrible. The Buddhists believe that when you are no longer trapped in the cycle of attraction/aversion but see the beauty and ugliness as illusory, you’re making progress in the right direction. You start experiencing a much fuller dimension of being beyond the limiting box of our conceptual thinking.

A decade ago, I traveled with a small group that included a dear client/friend of mine. This person had a well-warranted fear of getting sick on trips based on a previous experience and went to elaborate precautions to prevent a recurrence. It’s the law of averages whether you’ll get sick in India. I have paid the price on two of those trips of coming back home with bacteria and parasites that were not laughing matters, but with no regrets.

“I have a surprise for you,” my client informed me as we were taking off. “I have made up prepared meals for our entire journey, and I’ve brought a set for you as well. Think of it as an advance birthday present.” As much as I appreciated this gift, the thought was nice but the reality was less so. First of all, I love Indian food and considered it well worth the risk when exercising caution. However, these prepackaged meals were tolerable for the first few days, but grew progressively unappetizing by the end of the first week. One of the other travel companions had the clever idea of buying all sorts of Indian condiments and hot sauces to spice them up, but that too was a quick fix that was over fast. The accumulation in the body of the red food coloring from some of those bottled sauces also had some curious side effects best left to your imagination.

So, after a week, I didn’t have much appetite left for the various canned and jarred goods that made up the meals. I was just eating the nuts that supplied the healthy source of fat in the balanced meals. But that too was getting difficult, with the macadamias being the worst. Legend goes that macadamia trees were imported to Hawaii from China by an enterprising farmer who thought they would be nutritious fodder for raising pigs. But the only miscalculation was that no one asked the pigs, who turned their snouts up at them. So, what was one to do with all these surplus nuts? Why not cover them in chocolate thought one entrepreneur, who put them in candy boxes to sell to tourists. The rest is history.

Here I was in India with all this uneaten food. Growing up in the 1950s, you always heard about the starving children of India if you balked at eating your cauliflower. The canned foods were less problematic and could be left behind and surely used by someone. But the shelf-life of the nuts was another matter. The heat would make them rancid in no time, I thought. What to do?

We had checked into a resort hotel in one of those hill stations in the foothills of the Himalayas. Hill stations were the places where the English sent their wives and children to escape the summertime heat and dust of the plains. The hotel dated back to the grandeur of that Imperial period, but probably hadn’t been renovated since and was showing its age measured in cracks in the walls and the mold that grew in them.

Checking into the room, I saw a small sign painted on a metallic plate screwed to the bottom of the window. It read, “Beware of the monkey menace. Keep window screen latched at all times.”

I suddenly had what I thought was a brilliant idea. Why not offer up my mounting supply of macadamia nuts to the monkeys? Within minutes of opening the window and pouring the nuts onto the railing on the top of the stone columns of the adjacent terrace, a posse of monkeys arrived. I watched the show from the comfort of my room and safely behind the locked screen.

There was definitely some elaborate form of protocol. One of the dominant monkeys went over to the pile and picked up a nut in its hand. He studied it intently for a few moments and then sniffed it, making no bones that this was an alien foodstuff. But after a few moments, he took a bite and gave it the thumbs up. Another three or four monkeys came and joined in the feast. The nuts were gobbled in no time. Problem solved.

The next morning, I awoke early and looked out the window. The light was almost intoxicating in its brilliance. I couldn’t wait to go out on the terrace and take in the view of the Ganges plain below. I could leave my room and go down the hall and exit on the other side of the terrace. Or I could simply open the window and step easily down to the terrace. Yeah, that was a better idea. I would carefully close the screen behind me so it would appear to be locked per the warning sign.

A few seconds later, I stood about 40 feet away by the railing of the terrace. I was ecstatic. I thought, “This is India. This is what it is all about. This is why I came here, all this way. Just look at this view.”

The reverie was short lived. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw two dark spots. Turning my head, I was in disbelief and did one of those famous Laurel and Hardy whiplash double takes. There, undeniably, were two monkeys. One was on the same railing where I put the macadamia nuts. The other was flush against my window, adroitly putting its long fingernails into the crack between the screen and door frame. In a flash, it had opened the window and bounded into my room. The second monkey stood lookout outside.

I rushed over and started yelling at the guard monkey. “Arrrrghh! Go away!” The creature looked up at me in disbelief, as if to say, “You don’t know whom you’re messing with.” Immediately, it started lunging at me, not in full attack mode yet but giving me the message to back off or else. Hard to miss and very convincing were his very sharp fangs that had obviously never seen a dental hygienist. I went into retreat and fast.

At just this moment, my client arose and opened the curtains of her room. She, too, did a double take as I sprinted by her window. She watched as I reversed direction, carrying a red plastic chair and with a determined look on my face that she had never seen before in all the years she had known me.

By the time I came back to the scene of the crime in lion-tamer mode, it was too late. The one who was ransacking my room was making his exit, carrying something in his hand. The two then made off into the bushes.

When I climbed back through the same window, I was expecting the worst. My room would be trashed and suitcase and clothing ripped to shreds, I imagined. Monkey poop would be all over the floor and the bed. The hotel manager would then come up to look at the room, silently shaking his head back and forth in disbelief at my stupidity, pointing to the sign on the window to add to my humiliation. “You can put the damages on your credit card,” I could hear him saying.

But, no, that was not the case. In fact, astoundingly, everything seemed to be in perfect order, just as I had left it. Baffled, I climbed back out of the window and went back on the terrace. I had to find out what was behind this. I walked along the railing and peered down into the bushes to see if I could spot the culprits. And there they were.

It turned out the monkeys knew exactly what they were looking for in my room. They had no interest in trying to find any left over macadamias. Instead, the intruder had apparently gone right for the tray next to the electric teakettle and made off with a small plastic bag.

By the time I spotted them, they had already opened the contents of the bag. It was clear that they were enjoying this special treat. One of the monkeys opened the little foil packet of instant coffee and another one containing sugar. They licked one of their long nails and dipped it into each packet to extract the powders and mixed them together. This was their morning coffee.

The monkey is a holy animal in India, revered in the culture like the cows. The Hindu monkey deity Hanuman waits on call to save India if peril threatens and can traverse the country in mere seconds, according to the scriptures. And god forbid your vehicle should hit one on the road–there’s serious karma to pay. Yet at the same time, they’re recognized as a nuisance and a pest if they live among you. Serious injuries can happen. Attacks like the one that nearly happened to me are all too frequent.

But as I watched them delight in their moment, like a couple of coworkers taking a break at Starbucks, all that was suddenly forgotten.

So much for duality … What wasn’t there to respect about these remarkable beings.

Read more: Macadamia Nuts, India, Hanuman, Monkey, Buddhism, Hinduism, Spirituality, Hill Station, Duality, Ganges, Living News

There’s a grainy photo I have on my desk that I hurriedly took of two monkeys I encountered in India about a decade ago. It is not a beautiful photograph–no risk that it will be published in National Geographic. Nor were these creatures out of the ordinary in their appearance–just your standard, garden variety gray monkey. Yet, I will never forget them and for good reason.

From traveling to India a total of eight times during a seven year period starting in the late 90s, I can safely say that one of the greatest gifts of going there is how it challenges your assumptions right to the core. If you want a carefree, relaxing place, try Hawaii or Tahiti. If you want to go out of your comfort zone and find out some interesting things about yourself, come to India. Nothing seems to go according to plan, and once you accept that and give up that need to control, it can be liberating.

A trip to India gives you a better grasp of the notion of duality. It’s in your face all the time. One moment, you might see the most beautiful sight, and in the next, something ugly or horrible. The Buddhists believe that when you are no longer trapped in the cycle of attraction/aversion but see the beauty and ugliness as illusory, you’re making progress in the right direction. You start experiencing a much fuller dimension of being beyond the limiting box of our conceptual thinking.

A decade ago, I traveled with a small group that included a dear client/friend of mine. This person had a well-warranted fear of getting sick on trips based on a previous experience and went to elaborate precautions to prevent a recurrence. It’s the law of averages whether you’ll get sick in India. I have paid the price on two of those trips of coming back home with bacteria and parasites that were not laughing matters, but with no regrets.

“I have a surprise for you,” my client informed me as we were taking off. “I have made up prepared meals for our entire journey, and I’ve brought a set for you as well. Think of it as an advance birthday present.” As much as I appreciated this gift, the thought was nice but the reality was less so. First of all, I love Indian food and considered it well worth the risk when exercising caution. However, these prepackaged meals were tolerable for the first few days, but grew progressively unappetizing by the end of the first week. One of the other travel companions had the clever idea of buying all sorts of Indian condiments and hot sauces to spice them up, but that too was a quick fix that was over fast. The accumulation in the body of the red food coloring from some of those bottled sauces also had some curious side effects best left to your imagination.

So, after a week, I didn’t have much appetite left for the various canned and jarred goods that made up the meals. I was just eating the nuts that supplied the healthy source of fat in the balanced meals. But that too was getting difficult, with the macadamias being the worst. Legend goes that macadamia trees were imported to Hawaii from China by an enterprising farmer who thought they would be nutritious fodder for raising pigs. But the only miscalculation was that no one asked the pigs, who turned their snouts up at them. So, what was one to do with all these surplus nuts? Why not cover them in chocolate thought one entrepreneur, who put them in candy boxes to sell to tourists. The rest is history.

Here I was in India with all this uneaten food. Growing up in the 1950s, you always heard about the starving children of India if you balked at eating your cauliflower. The canned foods were less problematic and could be left behind and surely used by someone. But the shelf-life of the nuts was another matter. The heat would make them rancid in no time, I thought. What to do?

We had checked into a resort hotel in one of those hill stations in the foothills of the Himalayas. Hill stations were the places where the English sent their wives and children to escape the summertime heat and dust of the plains. The hotel dated back to the grandeur of that Imperial period, but probably hadn’t been renovated since and was showing its age measured in cracks in the walls and the mold that grew in them.

Checking into the room, I saw a small sign painted on a metallic plate screwed to the bottom of the window. It read, “Beware of the monkey menace. Keep window screen latched at all times.”

I suddenly had what I thought was a brilliant idea. Why not offer up my mounting supply of macadamia nuts to the monkeys? Within minutes of opening the window and pouring the nuts onto the railing on the top of the stone columns of the adjacent terrace, a posse of monkeys arrived. I watched the show from the comfort of my room and safely behind the locked screen.

There was definitely some elaborate form of protocol. One of the dominant monkeys went over to the pile and picked up a nut in its hand. He studied it intently for a few moments and then sniffed it, making no bones that this was an alien foodstuff. But after a few moments, he took a bite and gave it the thumbs up. Another three or four monkeys came and joined in the feast. The nuts were gobbled in no time. Problem solved.

The next morning, I awoke early and looked out the window. The light was almost intoxicating in its brilliance. I couldn’t wait to go out on the terrace and take in the view of the Ganges plain below. I could leave my room and go down the hall and exit on the other side of the terrace. Or I could simply open the window and step easily down to the terrace. Yeah, that was a better idea. I would carefully close the screen behind me so it would appear to be locked per the warning sign.

A few seconds later, I stood about 40 feet away by the railing of the terrace. I was ecstatic. I thought, “This is India. This is what it is all about. This is why I came here, all this way. Just look at this view.”

The reverie was short lived. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw two dark spots. Turning my head, I was in disbelief and did one of those famous Laurel and Hardy whiplash double takes. There, undeniably, were two monkeys. One was on the same railing where I put the macadamia nuts. The other was flush against my window, adroitly putting its long fingernails into the crack between the screen and door frame. In a flash, it had opened the window and bounded into my room. The second monkey stood lookout outside.

I rushed over and started yelling at the guard monkey. “Arrrrghh! Go away!” The creature looked up at me in disbelief, as if to say, “You don’t know whom you’re messing with.” Immediately, it started lunging at me, not in full attack mode yet but giving me the message to back off or else. Hard to miss and very convincing were his very sharp fangs that had obviously never seen a dental hygienist. I went into retreat and fast.

At just this moment, my client arose and opened the curtains of her room. She, too, did a double take as I sprinted by her window. She watched as I reversed direction, carrying a red plastic chair and with a determined look on my face that she had never seen before in all the years she had known me.

By the time I came back to the scene of the crime in lion-tamer mode, it was too late. The one who was ransacking my room was making his exit, carrying something in his hand. The two then made off into the bushes.

When I climbed back through the same window, I was expecting the worst. My room would be trashed and suitcase and clothing ripped to shreds, I imagined. Monkey poop would be all over the floor and the bed. The hotel manager would then come up to look at the room, silently shaking his head back and forth in disbelief at my stupidity, pointing to the sign on the window to add to my humiliation. “You can put the damages on your credit card,” I could hear him saying.

But, no, that was not the case. In fact, astoundingly, everything seemed to be in perfect order, just as I had left it. Baffled, I climbed back out of the window and went back on the terrace. I had to find out what was behind this. I walked along the railing and peered down into the bushes to see if I could spot the culprits. And there they were.

It turned out the monkeys knew exactly what they were looking for in my room. They had no interest in trying to find any left over macadamias. Instead, the intruder had apparently gone right for the tray next to the electric teakettle and made off with a small plastic bag.

By the time I spotted them, they had already opened the contents of the bag. It was clear that they were enjoying this special treat. One of the monkeys opened the little foil packet of instant coffee and another one containing sugar. They licked one of their long nails and dipped it into each packet to extract the powders and mixed them together. This was their morning coffee.

The monkey is a holy animal in India, revered in the culture like the cows. The Hindu monkey deity Hanuman waits on call to save India if peril threatens and can traverse the country in mere seconds, according to the scriptures. And god forbid your vehicle should hit one on the road–there’s serious karma to pay. Yet at the same time, they’re recognized as a nuisance and a pest if they live among you. Serious injuries can happen. Attacks like the one that nearly happened to me are all too frequent.

But as I watched them delight in their moment, like a couple of coworkers taking a break at Starbucks, all that was suddenly forgotten.

So much for duality … What wasn’t there to respect about these remarkable beings.

Read more: Macadamia Nuts, India, Hanuman, Monkey, Buddhism, Hinduism, Spirituality, Hill Station, Duality, Ganges, Living News

The can of worms is open. Opening up the question on my last blog of “How To Find a Spiritual Teacher,” or whether we need a teacher at all, tends to incite even the most dormant of creatures. We have strong reactions, powerful opinions and oftentimes righteous convictions regarding this topic, as was seen from the many and varied, but never lukewarm responses to my last post. In fact, when I toured an early version of my book in 2002, there were two uprisings in bookstores where I spoke — one in Manhattan and the other in Barcelona. In both cases, the movement was to incite the crowd to see that spiritual authority comes from within! I have absolutely no problem with this approach, nor with those who deeply feel the need for a teacher, or those who are confused, but why so much energy?

Is Guru a 4-Letter Word?

I have spent time with gurus who are living proof that “guru” can be a four-letter word. Nobody has asked me to drink cyanide-laced Kool-Aid, but I have been offered plenty of other substances. And most of the other crimes of power and passion one hears about in relation to purported gurus have been perpetrated upon me and people I know. After 17 years of experience on four continents and 10 years of research in the field, I am both personally and professionally all too familiar with the kinds of shocking abuses of power that have been committed in the name of spirituality. Yet I cannot denounce spiritual teachers in general, any more than I can denounce all men simply because I have had some less than desirable lovers.

I have learned that when one writes or speaks publicly on this topic, four potential positions can be expected: 1) The strong assertion that the guru and the source of all spiritual authority comes from within, and that people who seek from without are essentially deluded. This group speaks the loudest and the strongest, usually with a slight edge of disdain towards those who have or want teachers; 2) The people who have a particular guru and not only think that the Guru Road is the only destination in town, but more specifically that their guru’s home is the center of the universe. They want the world to join their guru’s mission because they sincerely believe that the world would be a better place if this was so; 3) One step down from this are those who believe that we need a teacher, but that it need not be their teacher. This group is less likely to proselytize their perspective; 4) Those who are either questioning whether they need a teacher, or are looking for a teacher but cannot locate one — this group is humble, open, curious. If we look at the responses to my previous blog, we see all of these perspectives represented with their predicted intensity.

Not Always So
If there is anything I have learned over 20 years of study, practice and research on the spiritual path, it is the truth of the teaching propagated by Zen master Shunru Suzuki of “not always so.” There is not one clear-cut road of beliefs and practices to suit all human beings. There are well-trodden paths and religions that have proven to be helpful to many people in indescribable and irreplaceable ways. Yet whether we practice in one of these traditions or find our unique path through the labyrinth of life, we each walk the path differently, in a way that only the inimitability of each of our beings can do — our “unique self.”

I now understand that there are as many unique paths to spiritual unfolding as there are human beings. I remember when Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee, my Sufi “uncle,” and Huff Po blogger, told me this. I was a die hard seeker in my twenties. Although in theory it made sense, inside I secretly believed, “But my path is the best path, or at least one of the very best, and there is a best way to follow my path.” Now, almost two decades later, it is clear to me that each human being follows a unique trajectory in relationship to spirit, truth or God.

The Need for Discernment on the Spiritual Path
Spiritual discernment, called viveka khy?tir in Sanskrit, is said to be the “crowning wisdom” on the spiritual path.

The Yoga S?tras of Patañjali say that the cultivation of discernment is so powerful that it has the capacity to destroy ignorance and address the very source of suffering. According to Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, to discern is “to recognize or identify as separate and distinct.” Discrimination, its synonym, “stresses the power to distinguish and select what is true or appropriate or excellent.” Those who possess spiritual discernment have learned this skill in relationship to spiritual matters, and they can consistently make intelligent, balanced and excellent choices in their lives and in relationship to their spiritual development. Their eyes are wide open and they see clearly.

Viveka khy?tir is believed to be such a powerful tool that it has the capacity to pierce all levels of the physical, psychological, energetic and subtle bodies of the human being. In “Light on the Yoga S?tras of Patanjali,” B. K. S. Iyengar explains that through this unbroken flow of discriminating awareness, the spiritual practitioner “conquers his body, controls his energy, retrains the movements of the mind, and develops sound judgment, from which he acts rightly and becomes luminous. From this luminosity he develops total awareness of the very core of his being, achieves supreme knowledge and surrenders his self to the Supreme Soul.”

I believe that more potent than any of our current spiritual convictions — which if we observe closely and honestly within ourselves over many years, we discover, do in fact change no matter how certain we were of what we believed — is the capacity for discernment. The degree to which our discernment is refined is the extent to which we can move through the complexities of the spiritual marketplace and the deepening of spiritual life with effectiveness and wisdom. We make radiant choices that serve others in smaller and larger ways, and become part of the evolutionary and healing force in life, instead of what George Bernard Shaw calls, “a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making me happy.”

Read more: Yoga, Religion, Gurus, Psychology, Spirituality, Happiness, Leadership, Spiritual, Spiritual Power, Living News

In an age where chaos abounds, politically, economically and socially, marked by much dissatisfaction with one’s chosen profession, it is comforting to behold hope on the horizon. The legal profession is no exception. The multitude of lawyers leaving their line of work is reaching significant, if not alarming, proportions. The adversarial atmosphere and the combative confrontational approach ultimately wears thin on the brows or psyches of those whose sole aim is to bring order and stability to the lives of they who seek their services.

A newer, more beneficent methodology is becoming more widespread and more mainstream, bringing with it a more fulfilling result for the parties to a controversy or dispute and a greater sense of accomplishment for the advocates within. There is a shift in paradigm, or worldview, a set of beliefs about what is real and true.

Suddenly, terms like restorative, collaborative, and cooperative found their way in front of the word law as categorical adjectives as commonly as “criminal,” “civil,” “administrative” or any of the typical branches of the law. What distinguished the differences in approach can be summed up in the magnificent label, “holistic,” defined as relating to, or concerned with wholes or with complete systems rather than with the analysis of, treatment of, or dissection into parts, such as in medicine when attempting to treat both the mind and the body .

J. Kim Wright lives her entire life that way, and just as holistic thinking and methodology has led patients and doctors to alternative medicine and enhancement of existing traditional forms thereof, the same can be said of holistic law, which carries a spiritual perception of life into legal practice and enhances both the well-being of the practitioner, the client, and the system by its compassionate and pragmatic perspective. Lawyers as Peacemakers is Kim Wright’s nuts and bolts manual to this visionary and revolutionary means of rendering legal services.

Kim is co-founder of the Renaissance Lawyer Society and has been the clarion to make lawyers aware of another way to achieve the lofty goals they set out to reach when they decided to pursue a legal career.

The book itself, as the author tells you, is not necessarily one to pore through cover-to-cover, but to use as a continual reference source, “and a possible source of inspiration on those days when you would rather be doing something else. ” It is a guide to a holistic approach to law that includes the lawyers’ well being and the best interests of the client and society. We as lawyers have been so totally embedded and captured by the adversarial paradigm that a massive mental metamorphosis must take place so that we who might be interested in this other way of lawyering can make the shift.

A paradigm shift requires objectives and methodology which has to move away from the divisions between members of society and the segmented disposition of legal concerns. The path must aim toward the overall benefit of compassion and transformation of the relationship between citizens and the legal system. Instead of us against them, it is all of us together seeking a solution in each area of law that has a long term, mutually beneficial solution Too much to hope for? Not at all, as is being demonstrated by lawyers all over the country. We are conditioned to an adversarial system where the resolution may be satisfactory for the moment and can produce satisfaction for one or a few of the parties, but not with lasting and continuous benefit to society on a larger scale.

The author details how to go through making the shift, suggesting a coach, or a therapist, or both. It is hard to believe how badly one or both are needed, but the rewards are great in the sorting-out process.

One major question always revolves around the viability of making a living in the new legal frontier. The reviews are mixed, but encouraging. The author and her wealth of contributors warn of the need for training and reorientation. But there appears to be virtual unanimity in the pronouncement that one by-product of the new legal specialty is happiness, satisfaction, peace of mind and yes, in some instances economic improvement.

The Movement is the transition from the adversarial to the restorative and the collaborative. Probably hard to conceive for those of us who are so ingrained in the stereotypical call to battle. The author starts with a chapter describing holistic law, a methodology that focuses on the spiritual aspects of a legal person’s nature and to find a commonality of purpose between those with opposite interests and positions. It seems revolutionary to employ devices such as love and religion or spiritually in the process of resolving legal confrontation but it actually bears fruit more in producing a durable outcome, emotionally than a knockdown drag-out court battle…where no one wins and a bitter taste lingers.

There is something labeled “cooperative law,” which basically starts with a determined aim toward reaching a settlement, pledging civility and cooperation. There is implicit in this approach, full disclosure of all relevant financial information, thus heading off the individual appraisal and expert opinions by obtaining joint appraisals and joint expert opinions. There is the promise to cooperate by obtaining meaningful input, for example obtaining an expert child specialist before requesting appointment of a guardian to be appointed by the court, good faith negotiation sessions and four way meetings where appropriate, to reach fair compromises based on valid information. And of course a prime requisite is cooperation by conducting oneself in a respectful, civil and professional manner.

Kim proceeds to tell those aspiring to enter the area of law how to go about making the transition. There is a step by step guide to the changes that must be undergone to reach the “promised land.” Some will find it easier than others if they have a predisposition toward spirituality. And that is something that everyone in any vocation or way of life can use more of.

Kim Wright is the author of Lawyers as Peacemakers: Practicing Holistic, Problem-Solving Law,
An ABA Flagship Book and bestseller.

Read more: Government, Book Review, Living, Spirituality, Law, Mediation, Courts, Books News